Tim's Jokebook

I tried to worship Pelor but I got burned

A cleric of Pelor walked into the bar and ordered a light ale

If your son asked you what a solar eclipse was, what would you say? No, son.

When do dire ducks wake up? At the quack of dawn

What do you get if you put a dire duck in the cement mixer? Quacks in the pavement

I stopped at Northland Public Library the other day and asked if they had any books on paranoia. The librarian said yes, they’re right behind you.

Was the librarian sunburnt? If so, you could say they were, well, red.